Career Day
by Sushi Chi
Summary: Innuendo, fantasies and fancy signatures all happen on what can be called the worst day of high school. Puck/Kurt


**Disclaimer: Alas, I don't own Glee.**  
><strong>AN: Beta'd by my good friend. She said she enjoyed it. I'm willing to believe her. Because as of so far and as far as I know she hasn't lied to be. Not that I think she has because she's amazing and fantastical and I'm just going to stop this sentence. But yes, another Puckurt story from me, go figure. Hope you enjoy it.**

One of the most horrifying things had come to McKinley. It was always dreaded. Once a year, students would beg their parents to let them stay home. A few adults would, of course, agree and possibly regret it later when their child broke the vase from dear departed Aunt Delilah, and some regret it when they spent the afternoon in the hospital waiting room wondering how their teenage kid ever thought that doing a slip-n-slide on their stairs was a good idea. Most parents would have their eyes grow and gooseflesh appear on their skin when their kids would mention the dreaded day. They would think, "I had to suffer through it, you do too" and make them go to school.

Career Day was in full swing that day.

"I only came because I cannot miss a day of school. I need the perfect attendance." Rachel said to Kurt, "I can't have any agent think that I won't show up on Opening Night. But I didn't need to come today, not with my future being so clear."

Kurt rolled his eyes. He loved her, but sometimes she still annoyed him. "Dad said I had to go because Finn was going. It would be unfair if I was able to skip and he couldn't."

"Tragic." Rachel said, her tone just right. "Anyway, Brittany is here today and so is Santana. Mercedes and Tina aren't here. I think Mike's parents took him to a special Asian Career Day or something."

"Do you know about Artie? Puck?"

"No, I don't know. But Quinn is here." Rachel smiled. "We happened to be going to most of the same Career Stalls. Isn't that exciting?"

"Ever so." Kurt said monotone but with a tilt of a smile to his lips.

Puck swooped in and put an arm around Kurt's shoulders, "This blows balls."

"Eloquent."

"Thanks." Puck smirked at his friends.

"I figured you'd skip. Parent's excuse or not." Kurt stated simply, trying to dislodge Puck's arm from around him. Not that he didn't enjoy a hot boy next to him, but he kept bumping into him and so Kurt was having more trouble walking. No way they could team up in a two legged race. Not that there were many options to be in a two legged race. Still.

"Yeah," Puck nodded, "Normally I totes would. But with the whole juvie thing, they're kinda making me stay. Part of my rehabilitation or some shit."

"That's marvelous."

"Isn't it, though?" Puck chuckled. "What stations are you two hitting on?"

"My God, Puck." Kurt said dryly, "You make it sound like we want to molest the stalls."

"Dude, if you put your mind to it, you can make anything sexy. Trufax."

"Is that right?" Rachel asked, skeptic.

"Totes right." Puck informed her.

Kurt thought for a moment, "I haven't been officially signed to any of the stalls. Why don't I join you in yours and you can make each and every stall sound like a sexy career choice. Bet you can't do it."

"Bet your sweet ass I can." Puck smirked.

"Right." Rachel said slowly, "You guys do that and have fun. I've got to go to my first stall. See you later." With that she waved and joined Quinn who was standing by Finn in front of the DMV station.

"Where to first?" Kurt asked.

He knew that they would hit three stations. And that you would have to sign a paper at each one to prove that you were there. Most people got to choose which ones they'd like to go to (picking those they want to see and then getting a high possibility that they'd be assigned there) but Kurt hadn't run into Ms. Pillsbury all day. And she had everyone's assigned stalls. Shrugging mentally, he figured as long as he signed three they couldn't fault him. It would be like he had a mid-career day crisis. He was told to go to certain ones but then decided to be a bit crazy and go to others. Then again, the school's office might not even realize what he had done. No reason to imagine their conversations over his signatures.

("That boy sure does have a nice flourish to his name."

"That boy didn't go to where we told him to!"

"He still went to three."

"But what if he really didn't? What if it is a con?"

"A con?"

"Don't take that skeptic tone with me, Jill. I wouldn't put it past any of these little deviants.

"Deviants? Okay. Anyway, I wish I could write my name like how he does his. It's like a celebrity's signature. Ooh, I bet he'll be famous."

"If he's going to be famous… Jill. We already have his signature. We should photocopy that paper and keep the original. Then when he is famous we can sell his _high school signature_ and become rich."

"I like how you're thinking.")

Whathaveyou.

Kurt was glad to have a friend to hang out with on Career Day. He and Puck had a slight friendship since the jock had joined glee, but it wasn't until the Hudsons and the Hummels moved in together before he really got to know Puck. Since then their friendship had grown. Sometimes Kurt would catch Puck staring at him (like he was at the moment) and it always made Kurt wonder if he had something in his teeth. "Do I have-?"

"No." Puck blinked and shook his head, "Nothing in your teeth. You need to stop asking that."

"Okay." Kurt nodded, "So where to first?"

Puck looked down at his paper, "Breadsticks." He paused, "They think I'll be good as a waiter? That blows, man."

"Maybe they remembered how well you sold cupcakes and think you could be a chef?" Kurt suggested as they headed to the Breadsticks stall.

Puck snorted, "There is a chef stand by itself. I wasn't assigned there." He growled, "They hadn't even let me choose where to go like you all. They just said I had to go to these three."

Kurt patted him on the shoulder, "Okay. So, go ahead. Make waiting at Breaksticks sexy."

Puck smirked. "Alright, babe. So, imagine, yeah? You're a lonely waiter and you haven't been laid in a while which is sad and shit because you're a hot, lonely waiter. So, it's been a slow night and there is this bombshell of a dude or chick - depending on your sexual orientation-" Puck started, talking over the Hostess at Breadsticks giving her speech. "- and this bombshell is being stood up. Which sucks for them because they're a bombshell."

"You've stated that." Kurt's voice had an amused tilt.

"Yeah." Puck stared deeply at Kurt for a second before taking a breath and continuing, "So, you notice that they're being stood up and so you go to talk to them and you both hit it off so you go in back and have bathroom sex with them."

Kurt made a face, "I'm not one for bathroom sex with a stranger."

Puck rolled his eyes, "I told you, you hit it off with them. You aren't strangers anymore. Plus, they're like, sex on legs and shit."

Kurt sighed, "Okay. But that was a porn story. You're trying to make the occupations be sexy." He raised an eyebrow, "There is a difference."

Puck nodded, "True that. Okay then." He leaned towards Kurt's ear and whispered in a husky tone, "Uniforms. Heat. Moan worthy food. Breadsticks. Buttons that can pop off, lots of flat surfaces. Table cloths and cloth napkins that can be used as blindfolds or bondage if you're into that. Just think of getting some food on you, maybe spill some on your hand as you're bringing it out, and you have to have it licked off? The kitchen has to be noisy so if you find a secluded spot, no one would be able to hear you scream as you come."

Kurt swallowed, having been imagining all that. After a second he was able to talk, "Alright. That doesn't sound un-sexy."

Puck smirked as they made their way to Puck's second stall.

"Barista." Puck blinked at the stall.

Kurt grinned, "Look, free samples." He ran up and grabbed three before rejoining Puck and handing one cup over, "I claimed I was with two friends."

"Devious of you." Puck tried to hide a smile.

Sipping on his coffee, Kurt motioned for Puck to do his job. "Remember, make the job seem sexy, not a plot to porn."

"Again, uniforms-"

"Can't use that this time." Kurt said, "Their uniforms are orange shirts with a green apron. Not flattering."

Rolling his eyes, Puck said, "Okay fine. Just take off the shirt but keep the apron. Just a bit of skin that way. The aromas of dark rich coffee and the baked goods. Icing that can be so messy, as well as the sauces for the flavored coffees. Whipped cream. You clearly enjoy coffee, so think of coffee flavored kisses and free samples. Imagine the differences on your skin - the hot steam mixing with the ice of frappuccinos." When he was done, he smirked at the look on Kurt's face.

"Alright." Kurt gasped out, "That sounds…nice."

Puck let out a chuckle and put an arm around Kurt as they made their way to the last stall. "So, I'm doing well so far?"

"You're not doing bad." Kurt replied.

"Last up is produce grocer." Puck blinked, "Is it funny that it's so specialized? Like, it's not even just grocer. It's with fucking fruit."

Kurt didn't reply, just crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

"Get on with it?" Puck asked.

"Yep."

"Will do." He saluted Kurt before whispering in his ear again. His sex voice has done him well so far, he wasn't about to stop. "Just think of what eating fruit is like, because when stocking the produce you will always think of those moments. Those moments when you hold the firm fruit in your hand. Knowing that the skin feels different from the insides, you're mouth already watering at the thought of how it will taste, as the flavor bursts on your tongue and you swallow the food. You bite into it and the juice fills your mouth. By your second bite, the juice has slowly crawled down your arm. The flavor is so intense and you're getting all sticky but you don't care. All you care about is the next bite, the feel of the fruit, the taste and smell."

Kurt shuddered, "Puck, that sounds really dirty."

"It's suppose to, babe." He didn't pull away, but lowered his voice a bit more, "I admit, Kurt. There are things I'd like to do with you."

"Sexual things?" Kurt whispered back.

"Some of them, yes. But I'd also like something real between us. Where we not only have some juicy fruit but where we go to Breadsticks and eat a meal together."

Kurt turned, "You mean dating."

"If you want to call it that, yes." Puck said with a slight smile, "You could call it doing Career Day too. We can have some moments at coffee shops - with the whipped cream and maybe some fun with aprons, then go on a real date at Breadsticks - maybe steal one of the napkins to use as a blindfold or just have some innuendo with the breadsticks, then we can have the fruit moments, babe."

"This has got to be the most complicated and drawn out way to ask someone out." Kurt muttered.

"Worth it though." Puck smirked, "So, what do you say?"

Kurt thought about it for a second, "I'm willing to Career Day with you."


End file.
